Some days and...

Some nights just before
Resting my head on cushions
And sliding my legs under a
Wave of blankets and sheets,
I catch a hint of that scent in the air.
The one that lingered from your cigarette,
The Pall Malls,
I know them so well.
I know exactly how they sit
In the breast pocket of your button-up,
And how badly I wanted to be
Wearing that button-up
That night after we danced outside
And we danced into your bed.

And some days after
Looking up into your blue eyes
And imagining your hand in mine
Under a silent sea of stars,
I begin to wonder why I ever left this place.
This home of mine where all I love,
Residing,
I knew it so well,
I knew it when I left
The first breath of a newborn child,
How subtle englightenment has
Burrowed in my soul and
Taken me captive through
Ventures down memory lane.

And some mornings when
I've forgotten how empty I feel
And I peel open my eyes to reality
and to work and to being gone,
I almost remember that smell of happiness.
That smell of convincing arguments,
Lobbying,
Still resisting temptation,
Still wondering sometimes
If maybe you weren't all that drunk,
How if even just a spark could
Become a flame in your mind
And singe the wick that would
Lead to me.

How things could be so different.

-A