baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
I've decided that I think of myself as a lot more than I really am. I am not what I perceive. I see myself as a smart, unique, weird girl who will wind up with someone just as weird and smart and unique. Truth is... I'm just a normal boring kid. Just trying to find my way...
Today I found a tube of little white capsules containing the chemical compounds intended to make my mother happy. Which in turn, makes everyone else unhappy. I'm not sure that they work on her. I'm not sure they'll work on anyone. And either way, I'm not what can make her happy anyways. Nah, not her kids, not her husband, just some little pill marked with a letter. What does it stand for? who knows... what do I stand for?...
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If you can't get through the day but you want to, then that's depression. Your mom wants to get through the day. She has meaning in her life, but when you're depressed your brain isn't working correctly. There are better ways to figure a way through it, but habitual pill use is really terrifying to get off of.
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