Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Quiet Love

I have spent some amount of time trying to count and combine, while ticking clocks resound ticks and tocks but all i've found is my soul with holes like old socks. But is there any soul that is complete? Except Ghandi and Mamaji?
Who am I, really?
What do I need?
There's the person I am, and the human shrouded in robot seed, that's the one you see. Hidden from even the closest.

The wind and moon call for some peace tonight. They remind me over space and time of the fragility of life. Millions of tons of metal fly down the drive. But if he felt any love then he'll go to the Nation In The Sky, he's already there, he'll paint until it's dry.

"i have a quiet love for you, old friend." the kindest words i've ever read.

-A

Monday, May 24, 2010

Intrigue.

New Old Friend.
Beginnings thrown with endings.
An attempt is made to step back from mutual magnetism.
There is another. Posterity. She is you and she is not.
There is a side of us, unseen to any else. The Mutual Magnetism. A yearning. A throbbing. A concern.
Finding amongst rootless words a chemical compound. A method for disaster and madness and copulation. A flex and release of muscle in my eyes and thighs.
And I simply can't get enough. I have missed the attention. I have missed security. The only thing I've wanted was stability.
Stow and go. Figure you me out. A power struggle to be the control. To be captivating. Impressive or interesting.
But there's no hiding.
Through sand and fire, we all feel so lonely, and my shield and shelter is but glass.
To betray myself is to be myself.

-A

Monday, May 17, 2010

coming home. (4/25/10)

this world is so amazing.
I discovered this week how small I can feel and how great I can feel in the opposite regard. I learned that everyone will let you down. Whether you know them or not, whether they promised or not, whether they've acted like family or not. Perhaps this is the biggest wake up call I've had in a while.
it's hard to see these things from 30,000 leagues over the sea. It's hard to see deception and cheating, thievery, abuse. From up there all I can find is energy and existence. Patches of light clusters scattered through the land.
it rained on the way out of the airport. We were delayed for two hours. It was awful except for the tiny natural beauties I found lurking within the storm. The runway was lined by blue, green, yellow and orange lights that reflected without focus on the rain pattering on my window. I experienced horizontal rain, and looking out across a sea of clouds which was giving me a lightning show of godly proportions. The things causing my lateness were the most beautiful.

I should learn to slow down. Ignore the delay and enjoy the shower. Even if my seat partner from Greece likes to whine the whole time. But what does that accomplish? Nothing. Moments spent on annoyance when happiness is far more obtainable.

-A

stability.

switch off,
please,
give a break from
reality,
insanity surrounding
anxiety,
created inside the mind,
determining
dreams versus reality but
failing,
sleep and thought have
singularity
just a response, an answer
desiring,
simply looking for mental
stability.