Personal Jungle Gym

The two,
Twins,
The youngest of five,
Different colored, but still the same.
They are filled with energy and love.

The girl, she never remembers my name.
She likes to squeal and scream when I arrive.
She likes to brush my hair and
Twist in round to tangle.

The boy, he knows me most of the time,
He climbs all over our laps,
His personal jungle gym,
He tells me secrets and
Kisses me on the lips.

They love their brother,
Their care giver,
The feeder, life breather,
And when he sends them to sleep
The inevitable begins again,
Our favorite time of night.

-A

Politic.

"Shoulda known better than to listen..."
Millions of speculations floating around in the atmosphere, with conspirators following close behind, they scare me by putting their heavy hands upon my already weighted shoulders. They grip tightly, not the most desirable of strongholds. I'm flailing to prevent them, silly waving and dancing all to rid myself of these demons.
It seems my time in this place has run out. This is the countdown, I don't wanna fight I just wanna run. Away from here, leave these hometown hipsters and pseudo-intellectuals and just go. I'll take a bus, and stay in the street. I don't want a name I just want to eat and face the world for everything that it is. Everyone knows I'm just a sponge anyway. Soaking up all the beliefs of everyone around me, osmosis gone horribly wrong. But these tendencies, they make one immune to all the hate and dishonest confusion and politics of the world. I don't have to understand a thing.

-A

Waking up With A Smile

Shes had this dream before many times. An idea of a warm romantic Christmas eve,
But there was never a face to put with the perfect idea. In this dream the fire wood was not burning brightly, the tree undecorated. No stockings hung up on mantels or gifts abound. Just a figure holding another, and a tree standing nearby.
She had this dream of the Advent late last night, but much had changed.
He joined her there in the night time,
He wrapped around her, and a blanket around him.
The fireplace burned and cracked next to them, while ribbon and wrapping paper flew around.
Christmas time is here, gifts of love and cheer, the tree was lit up,
And holly overhead,
They celebrated with wide eyes, wide smiles,
Families surrounding,
Perfection.

-A

Strange.

Someone who I never expected,
More like a dream,
He's been there many times before,
and I'm sure he'll appear there even more.

At one point it seemed as though,
I was only a stones throw
from falling off the diving board,
down to the ocean, washed up to shore.

I swift kick in the back,
And I'm diving down to
Crash to the water with
a ripple and a splash.

I begin to panic, mind running mad,
"How will I ever breathe?
O, God, this is so bad..."
I'm on the brink of giving heed.

When finally I do, I come to terms,
one long drag in, lungs overturn,
and comfort comes over me, strangely,
This is just air I am breathing.

I relax my legs, I let them down,
Right beneath my feet is solid ground.
I stand up straight to look around
and back with you is where I'm found.

-A

Sister Winter.

Winter arrives, calling my name,
She speaks softly, she asks me to
Welcome her warmly.
Because when she comes near, many shiver,
Many run to hide away,
The heat is comfortable.

She says to me,
"But I am the one who
Brings lovers closer,
They hold each other tight
While my wind blows
Through the air."

So suddenly I see, clearly,
It's my sister winter who
I've waited for so long.

And now, before she goes to leave,
She gifts me,
With snow which sinks so light,
While the bright moon is
Hid from sight.

She gifts me with a chill,
Some bumps beneath my skin.
I told her I couldn't wait
To see her once more.
And then she disappears,
Just as quickly as she arrived.

-A

Notice.

Thinking back to the first time I tried to show you my heart,
I just hoped you'd notice, of course you did.
And yes, I curled my hair because I knew you'd be there,
I just hoped you'd notice, of course you did.
I sang my heart out, I sang for love and fear of futures and pasts,
I just hoped you'd notice, of course you did.
The air was cold, the stoplights reflected off droplets on the windshield,
Something that most never stop to notice.
And we laughed our way through poorly played games, smiling wide,
I just hoped you'd notice, of course you did.
Slowly becoming intertwined, fully consumed, bellowing laughs,
I'm so glad you just noticed.
Despite cookies stolen by sugar-starved animals,
I just hoped you'd notice, of course you did.
And at the end, I glanced at your mouth, I tasted it,
I'm so glad you noticed.

-A

And this one, too...

Siting in a room that's empty other than
Surrounding skepticism and tension,
There's something in the air.
I can taste it.
Chairs of dingy purple with feet on their rims,
I could see this coming...

With only inches between contact
Of clammy teen fingers and
Elbows grazing, minds running.
Transmitter failure and doubt run the fields, too.
So much talk and yet,
Not much said.

At first, something unexpected,
Two, three, then five fingers cross
and weave and connect.
The pulmonary action in my chest is
Distracting, like hammers
Pounding, pinning nails to ribs and muscle.

This giving up on giving up thing is
Turning out easier than expected,
Doors open, windows close,
The typical metaphors that go along,
They leave my mind as soon as they enter,
And I awaken with a smile and a message.

-A

Lost. (This one's for you.)

Broken,
Crumbling beneath the heat of a hundred stoves and
Under the pressure of expectations dealt by hands of
Gamblers, and drug lords alike.

Created,
From a world that is to them, so unknown,
A world formed by dust and filled with
Administrative pricks and lovers alike.

Emptied,
Desaturation floats freely in its home
In the cold gray clouds above, avoided by
Beach go-ers and meteorologists alike.

Scared,
If we've come to the end of the world,
we'll throw ambition away because we're all
Workers and Industrial Haters alike.

Nervous,
With fingernails run down to nubs,
I await my fate feeling as antsy as
Trouble makers and hypochondriacs alike.

Giving up.

Eyes follow while worlds surround.
Beauty throws everything into perspective
And love pokes its head
Out from behind the trees.
My moments of insecurity have passed,
As a new light shines into my eyes.
My mind changes just like a
Typical female's should, constantly,
Getting over heart break and
Finding new things to consume my mind.
Giving up on giving up,
And none of my close peers will be
Surprised by that.
Love will find its way,
No giving up on that. No doubt.
A helping hand, a goofy smile,
A thick pair of glasses,
All I need,
All I need.

-A

The Bells.

I felt like a telescope as I entered the chapel,
marble castle surrounding while the bells rang out.
A man passed me wearing two different colored shoes,
But his days were numbered so I chuckled and cut him some slack.
I peered into the preachers mind,
Full of words that'd been composed without
Slander or love or lies.
I felt the things that he'd proposed weren't
perfect or wrong or anything.
I speculated whether they were words delivered with sincerity
or just to put on a show.
-A

Mindset.

Cherry red faces after rolling around for a while,
I can't feel a thing anymore, its just wasted effort.

Theres still something left, and undecipherable feeling,
Maybe the remnants of tension from something less than love.

Oblivion falls back over me, once more trapped in a numb space,
A freezer full of ice cream that I just can't taste.

So much potential,
And not much more.

I feel like I'm the only one to blame, simply unconvincing,
Maybe the person who ruined my chances.

One mindset left the same,
One left completely changed.

I still have to keep my mouth shut.
I've still seen straight through.

Lost?

There's a strange sense of longing withing me. How things change so suddenly, let's just pick up where we left off... What have we left off?
In my head there's a hundred teen girls, there's a roar coming from the opening in their faces. They call me names, they tell me to run away. That's where I'd rather go anyway.
Feeling like I should lay in slumbers arms for a while, he is comfortable. He clings to me, and though he acts like he needs me, it is all backwards and manipulative, because I am the one who needs him. He knows me all too well.
Hilarity. Laughing so much that our heads fall off, they roll on the floor at our feet. Our brains and sensory receptors just lay there until we're depressed again when we pick them back up and glue them back on our necks. We are so lost. We are so lost.
But the outsiders, they look at us with strange angry faces, they're jealous that we can just laugh at old stupid dogs in our laps, begging for a little lovin'. They see us and wonder why they can't be this happy. They are just as lost as we are.
Is anyone really found in this world, after all?
These fanatics, they sing and boast of their being saved, what are they saved from? Grace and all of it's friends are hangin' out in skillets on stoves, you can never be saved from a lifetime of following an unseen, distant entity.

-A

Gifted.

Subtleties surface from the promise that we made,
All of my days are thrown to night,
You shook my hand, you took a seat
Next to me there.

I lost myself in the sweet smell of cookies and hot cocoa.
I lost myself in the smile you gave,
Oh, what a gift to give, to receive.

All of my days are thrown to night.
As long as we share the sweater,
Even if your dog is snoring in the corner,
Oh, what a gift to give, to receive.

If the sun won't keep us warm, well,
He's just selfish and he's just jealous.
I've got your arms, I've got the smile,
Oh,
What a gift to give,
What a gift to receive.

-A