Yes.

I remember it well.
You were a little fatter and I was a little skinnier and we both had messed up teeth.
I dressed like every other seventh grade yuppie and you pulled pranks on friends.
We are just a blast from the past.
We share fumes in unventilated creativity screens.
We make memories and tee shirts.
Can you remember?
The first time that I saw.
My mother knew all along,
He's crazy about you,
She said to me once more.
We carry the burdens of flags upon our shoulders,
We blow our trumpets, our car horns rumble aloud,
We light our fires, we burn pennies and dimes.
Love is not in the air,
No,
Nor is it in the wind or the trees.
It is in the ashes we made.
In the ashes covered in shade.
We sift and we search for money but none is to be found.
Burning cents to find sense like sand through fingers.

-A

Fed.

I kept revisiting that place hoping you'd be there. In many tries I have only seen you once more.
I connect the smell of fresh roasted guatemalan coffee beans to your glasses and facial features. I dress my most flattering hoping you'll notice so that one day it will lead you to notice my heart.
I finally understand that I've misunderstood this place all along. This place could save my life, or it could kill me.
My mind refocuses while you read aloud along with a fellow's clanking clashing piano chords. My desire to rummage through the files stowed away in your brain is fed just by the vocalization of the flow of your ink in your journal. I want to share anything with you. Coffee, a conversation, a movie.
Why do the names of the most influential figures in my life begin with the same letter? hm...
-A

Wine.

This idea is elusive.
Volleyball stars chase you in their fancy cars...
You never wanted anything from them.
You notice the older ones,
Maybe they're wiser,
Maybe they can teach you something.
You'll just end up falling for their traps and tricks.
You're so gullible.
They come and go from you like seasonal allergies and birthdays.
They gift you with things you don't need like
Doctor bills and candles, like runny noses and wrapping paper.
You see them enjoying the finer beverages,
Coffee, wine,
You debate their sobriety and you take them seriously.

-A

The Heat.

Where has this come from?
How did the blood
begin to flow?
The hair
begin to stand?
Hands
begin to touch?
Limbs connecting,
Warm breath whispers beneath skin.
Sheets found through seas of passion and
The Heat.
Where has this come from?

-A

Smoke.

I am taken back to memories once more. The habit you tried to give up, smoke lingering around your mouth. I hate it all and I love it at the same time simply because it is a part of you. I trace your sternum and the skin and hair that line it. I wish to know every piece of you, every inch, every emotion.
Before...I was like a deaf dog and you were yelling at me. Now you stomp on the floor and I feel you just fine. A poster child for distance, a failing fear, an endless friendship turned for a new road. I will forever be in awe. Exhaustion made into energy with one conversation.
I can't wait to be there. Take whatever you want from me, I'll give it all, whatever you need.

Nederland.

Once, when we moved away,
She came from Nederland one day,
She showed photos, we frowned,
Her children could never be fixed or be found.

We flew away,
We'd never stay,
Hearts all the same,
I was ashamed
Of myself.

We sat on your front lawn,
Sharing our stories of trips you'd been on,
The stars and the flames both sang,
It was all fine until the telephone rang.

I watched them all night,
Our family cried for it,
Never turned out a light,
A mothers ended fight.

-A

Seven Months.

Stench of new mulch,
Sky's foggy and gray,
Why has everything beautiful
Turned to something horrible.

Hello, are you even hearing me?
Panoramics stuffed with
Poor heroin addicts,
Facing old habits from old attics.

Consumed like wild fire,
You run back home
With a rumble and a light
Reminds me of that night.

Off and on, you come over unannounced,
Windows down, we drive
With fingers like wine,
Your hands in mine.

Who can say for certain,
Maybe you've been here all along,
I can feel you all around me now,
hopelessness, can't let me down.

-A