Untitled.

You lay in the room next to mine,
your eyes are closed I'm sure,
Or maybe your eyes are open,
you're horizontal without a stir.

I lay in the room next to yours,
I'm thinking, wide awake,
Wishing I had taken the opportunity,
Opportunities I never take.

I tempt you with my words,
I'm hoping you will stay,
You come and find me on the floor,
I see now it's the only way.

The blankets tangle,
Our bodies rustle beneath,
If we ever were to get caught,
we could never conquer the grief.

So for now it is a secret,
locked behind closed doors,
the only way to take you now,
is to keep you coming for more.

-A

The Experiment.

These numbers and figures in my head,
they turn me 'round,
most of the time I'm unsure where's
up and where's down.
I found my phone hidden right above
the thermostat,
I caught you next to the wall curled up
just like a cat.
I ran my fingers like surfers through
waves in your hair,
And we wept while we slept with visions
we barely dared
To dream with eyes half shut and our minds
closed like windows
In winter, like hearts of a thousand
who've been widowed.
You kissed my brow, you apologized
for beating me up,
I made you some cookies, and you shared
your water cup.
I love you for the hair on your legs,
Your huge knuckles,
For when you sing like an opera star,
And laugh at couples.
But everytime my ear's to your chest,
there's not a beat,
The noise from your heart sounds more like
Shackles on feet.

-A

The Wrecking Crow.

I dreamt of this girl last night.
She was thin and she was young,
She had a crow on her shoulder,
A monkey on her back.

I thought of this girl last night.
She weathered years of wandering,
She wept for the crucifix,
A promise she could never find.

I sought out this girl last night.
She needed to be told that
She was as beautiful as crown jewels,
A treasure to be seen by many.

I talked to this girl last night.
She told me no one cared for her,
She said if she were beautiful then I was
A blind bat wearing glasses.

I learned about this girl last night.
She told me we were exactly the same,
She and I had walked the same journey,
Two pieces of the same soul.

-A

Them and You.

They change your mind from all the things you used to hold dear. They've convinced you of things you could never have considered two months ago. You knew what you wanted. You changed your whole way of thinking.
They make you feel.
It makes you feel.
Why you allow them in is such a mystery.
They take your money, they leave you naked in the rain.
All they want is your mind, all they need is your brain.
Like parasites bent on devouring their host. And you let them right in. You opened the door and welcomed them. You had a target on your back with a knife in the middle.
Like a thousand burning suns looking down at your with the same familiar face. You wear your coat, you sing your song.
After all of this thinking you realize that the God that everyone's after doesn't exist... But love does.
All the sudden you fall in love with everyone you see, because they can't change how you feel. Especially when what they say and what they mean don't align like jupiter and the moon.
Coexistance becomes impossible for zeal and passion.
And for Them and You.

-A

Mirror.

This strange looking girl stood straight in front of me. She looked me in the eyes and I told her she was weird.
She was selfish.
She was boring.
She was stupid.
She was worthless.
The only thing she told me was that she loved me. She speaks so much more than I do, even with fewer words.
She cried to me once. She was so nice to everyone and they all still treated her like dog food. We looked to the sky. Seven metal birds flew noisily overhead. Pollution and moisture clouded our view of the reflective blue sky, but we couldn't tell the difference.
We are the same, she and I.
We are the same.

-A

The Red Dress.

A false hope resounds within me.
I can't let it go. It will never slow.
My fear is fading fast,
And you see me for exactly who I am.
I can't change your mind, but
maybe you can't change the inevitable.

I am shaking and I can't figure out why.
I am bruised down to the bone.
I am like jello to your mold.
I am read like a book, cover to cover,
And you're already done with me.

You've got what you needed,
Self reliability and technicalities
theyre shadowed by the light that
shines through the cracks in your words.
I don't believe you for a second.
I don't believe you at all.

You're just trying to convince yourself now.
Everybody needs somebody sometimes.
Sometimes.
Even if its only when they
wear the red dress.

-A

The first star.

Dust swept feet,
Sandy knees,
And blisters that I am proud of.
The remnants of the night before that I sure as hell needed.

On a frequent basis I an comfused.
Thousands of thoughts fill the wrinkles in my cranium while I lay at the edge of the pool with my feet in the water. I sing to the stars, and to you, my own little way of pleading for them to come out while the sun still sets before me. The first star is visible finally. You point it out while we lay with dust and sand and concrete in our hair. We are being eaten alive by bugs but we don't even care.
You sit up and suddenly the first star disappears with the clouds. It becomes unsearchable.

I am in constant awe.

Minutes later we share a chair, the kind that are designed for lounging alone, but we weren't. We intertwined and felt bloods resistance to gravity. Heartbeats and God. They find eachother somehow. My shirt hung low and you probably caught a glimpse while I was still singing to the stars and to you.
At times I felt as if the cats in the bushes were spying on us. I think I was spying on us, too. We heard them rustle the brush but we could never see the lioness that hid behind the green.

A kiss on the head and I am off. Another opportunity missed but not another evening wasted.

-A

A Peace of Mind.

We're tapping fingers on scarred knees. I hope you never forget that I like the way you sing,
The way it feels to run my fingers through the hair thats on your head,
The way it feels to graze your elbows in the movies on accident.
The way it feels to rediscover something we've been missing for years.

I guess the orchard hasn't seen its apples yet. I thought the seed just hadn't been planted. That it would take some time and some water and some sunshine. But no, the seed has indeed been planted, too stubborn to bear fruit or to bear anything. Too numb to sprout more than just wood and leaves.

Forward motion hasn't helped me thus far. Perhaps Im just not being patient enough. Disappointment sets in for both parties, especially the one I was attending.
At least I made some kind of impact, whether its the one I wanted or not.

Suddenly, sunlight seems like the lottery.
You can buy your way out of darkness,
You can trade it in for a Peace of Mind.
Trust your gut or follow your heart,
Filter out all the junk,
throw away all the rest.

But if the moment is right, if the lighting is perfect and the composition is beautiful, how could you ignore it? A masterpiece, a gift, a rise of the trousers, a shift of the hips,
Would you ignore it?

-A