Unknown.

Fear,
Fear of the future, laced with hands touching skin,
What lies ahead, unknown.
If the same who occupy me now,
will choose to stay or go,
Who lies ahead, unknown.
We breathe a sigh, together now,
What happens if we can't work this out?
What lies inside, unknown.
An internal battle ensues,
My selfish nature overthrows the idea of growing up and missing out,
What lies ahead, unknown.
We are never scared to die because we're alone,
We fear the earth, the heavens,
What lies above, unknown.

-A

Coming Back.

I'm sorry I've been gone, my friend,
My journal, my unseen savior,
I know you haven't gotten the attention
You deserve, Deserve much better behavior.

I've been quite busy these days,
I've been in new things confiding,
Some children to make me feel as though,
My memories are reviving.

I've been running up and down stairs,
With a new little friend on my hip,
Even if he says my name with an extra syllable,
He can kiss me on the lip.

And though you used to be my only,
I made a realization,
That you are the thing, You are the one,
That left me sulking in my damnation.

So here's my apology, friendly foe,
I've been using you all along,
Like a crutch for the lame and healed,
I am sorry for all I did wrong.

I'm learning to be happy,
That the throws of young love are alright.
I'm learning to live this life of mine,
Instead of documenting the whole night.

-A

Seperated.

The world peels away,
so I am left here, standing,
Something to be said, but I've been too busy enjoying myself to say it.
It's like being lost in
A maze full of cotton candy,
You could get yourself out of it but you sure as hell don't wanna.
Even after feeling this,
Disconnection,
Nothing else exists, two mutual files in an otherwise empty file cabinet.
Best moments of my mere existence,
I can feel myself in that sand,
I can feel myself in those beds,
I know I'm felt there, I'm sure of it.
I am not there, but Oh, I am so far from here.

-A

Personal Jungle Gym

The two,
Twins,
The youngest of five,
Different colored, but still the same.
They are filled with energy and love.

The girl, she never remembers my name.
She likes to squeal and scream when I arrive.
She likes to brush my hair and
Twist in round to tangle.

The boy, he knows me most of the time,
He climbs all over our laps,
His personal jungle gym,
He tells me secrets and
Kisses me on the lips.

They love their brother,
Their care giver,
The feeder, life breather,
And when he sends them to sleep
The inevitable begins again,
Our favorite time of night.

-A

Politic.

"Shoulda known better than to listen..."
Millions of speculations floating around in the atmosphere, with conspirators following close behind, they scare me by putting their heavy hands upon my already weighted shoulders. They grip tightly, not the most desirable of strongholds. I'm flailing to prevent them, silly waving and dancing all to rid myself of these demons.
It seems my time in this place has run out. This is the countdown, I don't wanna fight I just wanna run. Away from here, leave these hometown hipsters and pseudo-intellectuals and just go. I'll take a bus, and stay in the street. I don't want a name I just want to eat and face the world for everything that it is. Everyone knows I'm just a sponge anyway. Soaking up all the beliefs of everyone around me, osmosis gone horribly wrong. But these tendencies, they make one immune to all the hate and dishonest confusion and politics of the world. I don't have to understand a thing.

-A

Waking up With A Smile

Shes had this dream before many times. An idea of a warm romantic Christmas eve,
But there was never a face to put with the perfect idea. In this dream the fire wood was not burning brightly, the tree undecorated. No stockings hung up on mantels or gifts abound. Just a figure holding another, and a tree standing nearby.
She had this dream of the Advent late last night, but much had changed.
He joined her there in the night time,
He wrapped around her, and a blanket around him.
The fireplace burned and cracked next to them, while ribbon and wrapping paper flew around.
Christmas time is here, gifts of love and cheer, the tree was lit up,
And holly overhead,
They celebrated with wide eyes, wide smiles,
Families surrounding,
Perfection.

-A

Strange.

Someone who I never expected,
More like a dream,
He's been there many times before,
and I'm sure he'll appear there even more.

At one point it seemed as though,
I was only a stones throw
from falling off the diving board,
down to the ocean, washed up to shore.

I swift kick in the back,
And I'm diving down to
Crash to the water with
a ripple and a splash.

I begin to panic, mind running mad,
"How will I ever breathe?
O, God, this is so bad..."
I'm on the brink of giving heed.

When finally I do, I come to terms,
one long drag in, lungs overturn,
and comfort comes over me, strangely,
This is just air I am breathing.

I relax my legs, I let them down,
Right beneath my feet is solid ground.
I stand up straight to look around
and back with you is where I'm found.

-A